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The CONGRESS THEATER- Chicago, IL
7/14/01
Have you ever been to a movie that so lacked the basic elements of entertainment that you wanted to leave but hope and self denial kept your ass firmly planted? Well hope sucks, it made me sit through O Brother Where Art Thou (real funny film if you’re into high colonics) and it kept me on edge through most of The Breeders scatter shot set.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m well versed in the career of Kim Deal. I LOVE the career of Kim Deal. In fact I feel the most influential women in 1990’s alternative music are three Muses known as Deal, (Kristin) Hersh and (Kim) Gordon. Sadly, this Goddess fell from grace one evening in Chicago and all I could do was shake my head in pity. When did the hurt start? Well, from the moment Kelley Deal walked on stage.
Not versed in the evil of Kelley Deal? All you need to know is that she is a no talent wannabe that has rode the coattails of her sister since 1993. From her on again/off again drug habits to her complete failure as a guitar and bass player, Kelley is the new Sid Vicious. At least Sid was a joke that died out quickly; Kelley will remain as a constant tormentor of everything I hold sacred in music today. Now I’ve read many a rumor mill that states Kelley is out of the Breeders. Ain’t so my friends…like a cockroach she will remain long after the Amway Corporation and that flesh-eating virus from Burma wipe out life as we know it. Oh now I suppose you want me to write about the show. Fine, you sadists.
The show opened with Mom and Dad Deal introducing their talented daughter Kim and that mutt they bought from gypsies. The band’s current lineup is a troop of five: the Deal sisters and three guys whose job it is to take audience attention away from the fact Kelley barely touches her instrument. Kudos to you my boys! The set started with Doe (a nice little ditty off of Pod) and for one brilliant moment (and three tunes) life was good. This brings us to problem number two….pacing.
The variety was strong with songs from both the Breeders and Kim’s heavy rocking break-off project, The Amps. Yet after every song Kim and Kelley would chatter in a language I can only classify as TooManyMGDs. Of course I had misplaced my Deal sister decoder ring as did my old high school buddy. So we sat together in confusion stating ‘What the fuck…’ every now and then to make sure that, yes this was really happening. The first two breaks I shrugged it off, but when it took five minutes for Kelley to strap on a bass that she proceeded NOT to touch for two songs it was too much for this cow poke. Of course then there was the breaks where….WE HAD TOTAL SILENCE (due to fumblings for smokes, beer and new guitars).
Problem three, the exit. The show ended with the band unplugging their instruments and Kim stating, “That’s it…bye”. Classy, really classy. On a cheery note she stayed for about a half-hour to sign autographs. This gives the show a C-minus for effort. Really, I can’t go on much longer people…what more do you want me to say? The set was sloppy, poorly executed and insulting to fans. I did enjoy myself here and there but the smiley face moments where so few and far between I was relieved when they left the stage.
This is the first show the Breeders have played in awhile (they are recording in the Chicago area) and man, it showed. I don’t ask for much ladies and gentlemen, only if you are in a band that you PLAY SOME TUNES. Too much business on stage is ridiculous and unnerving. To you kids out there wanting to start up a band take a lesson from your Uncle Blaine: 1) Learn your four chords 2) Keep your junky siblings away from your art. I have to go into regression therapy now. Hmmmm….I wonder if Frank Black is still touring.
----Blaine
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